Tomorrow you will have your first day of Kindergarten and begin your journey through school. I am writing you this letter, that I hope to keep for you one day to read.
I am overwhelmed with emotion as this day draws closer. You know that I am a big softie and I cry at the drop of a hat. This is different though, I am filled with a big knot of anxiety. I so want your first day at school to be wonderful for you. I dream that you can make some new friends and adore your teacher. I wish for you to have the happiest of first days, to enjoy your first day and come home tired (of course) but with a big smile on your face. I want you to not be bullied, not feel scared, not feel like you can't do something.
I am a control freak and I think my anxiety for you is that I can no longer control some aspects of your life, to protect you, to be there to pick you up when you fall over, to wipe your tears when you cry. For five days a week from the time you hop in the school bus, until the bus delivers you home you will be your own little person, beginning to make your own mark on the world.
To help control my anxiety I have been drilling you for the last few days 'remember to answer a question when it is asked', 'when someone asks your name, what do you say?', 'if you need to go to the toilet, what do you do?', 'if you're having trouble with a task don't be afraid to ask for help, because that's how we learn'. You, my beautiful girl have been so patient with me, answering my questions, telling me what I need to hear. You have been pretty confident about starting school, we have talked about it lots and you know your teacher and lots of your class already. You tell me you are excited, but a little nervous.
I have tried to be as prepared as any first time school mum can be, we have labelled everything, talked about what you want in your lunchbox (jam sandwich and fruit), Dad has practiced tying your shoe laces with you, and today you almost have it mastered. You are an old hand at catching the school bus, and I think this is the one thing I am relaxed about.
The one thing I keep repeating to you is this 'Remember that some things we learn quickly and some things will take more time, it's OK to ask for help or to take your time, never doubt yourself and remember you can do anything if you try'. Soppy words I know,but the best I can pass on at this point.
I have no doubt the next year will be all about your teacher and everything that she knows and is teaching you, I'm sure she will do no wrong in your beautiful blue eyes. I am looking so forward to all the new things you will learn and the delight I see on your face when you come home with the excitement of something you have learned.
Tomorrow we will take you into school, on what is supposed to be a wet and rainy day. I have no doubt I will cry. You are my first born child, the first to start your school journey, you are breaking me in to this whole school thing, and I do not doubt this next year will be a roller coaster and I have my fingers crossed that no matter what happens you have a smile on your face.
Good Luck my beautiful girl.
With all my love,
Do you have a child starting school for the first time?
Are you as much of a Nervous Nelly as me?