When I got married and moved to our community it was like all of that was secondary, the introduction went something like this 'This is Nat, she's married to Muddy Hubby, you know, he's one of Noel's boys, they live on this side of the river, you know Noel he's Shirley's second son', it ceased to be about me as an individual and became all about who I was married to and how they fitted into the community, where their history was, not mine.
Now initially I was in that newly wed bliss where not much mattered outside of my little bubble of wedded happiness. Then I started to notice that there was no questions asked of me when I was introduced, no 'What do you do for work?', no 'What are your career plans?', most questions revolved around the weather and how much rain we'd had or hadn't had and what Muddy Hubby was up to. Now I understand that for the older generation they like to know how people fit into the friends of their generation, but seriously do people in their youth need to dwell on where you fit in the family history of the community (according to Muddy Hubby , Yes!)? I can understand that it gives people some context, especially those who have lived here their whole life. but surely it could come second to me as a person.
Now, when I meet someone new, and I've been meeting lots of new Mum's at swimming lessons, I make a conscious effort to find out about them as a person first before I find out who they're married to and how they fit it. Because I know how annoying I find it to be identrified as Muddy Hubby's wife, Noel's daughter-in-law and Shirley's granddaughter-in-law before I even get asked how much rain we've had.
Maybe it's different in a big city. as there's so many people and so many different suburbs, but for us it's all about the family and the family history with the introduction. I'm starting a new trend though, when I introduce my Muddy Hubby to my new friends I tell him all about what they do, where they're working or not working and something special about them before he puts the hard word on me about who they're married to and which branch of the family that is!
How do you introduce people?
How do you get introduced? Is it all about you first?